Montreal in Technicolor

HOLLLLA!

So I finally have some good news to blog about. Between the Habs getting eliminated to problems with application to graduate at Concordia, I finally am seeing the ray of light at the end of the tunnel. I HAVE FINALLY MADE A DECISION.. I know, i know. Everyone that knows me knows that I have flip-flopped more than Tim Thomas on a point shot, but this decision was super hard for me. Obviously, this is a big exaggerated, mais bon! It was hard for me to accept that I should move away, alone, to another city and start over in a program that I wasn't sure was for me. I really had my head set on just waiting it out, and applying to Concordia for the winter and staying in MTL. However, something clicked in my head this week. I was scared I was scared of not picking the right program for me, I was scared of what people around me would think, I was scared of making the wrong decision about my future and I was scared of being alone. But you know what? I spoke to two or three people that I trust that can tell me the truth. And with their professional assistance, they were able to give me the details I needed to make an informed decision, and not an emotional one. Two of them are former profs at Con U, and I'm so grateful to them for making me into the student I am today.
In terms of research interests and faculty, Ryerson's MPPA fits in well with what I want to do in the future and I'm starting to really look forward to the idea of having a blank slate to start over on.

I move to Toronto on August 28th 2011. SCARRRRRY.

So, as everyone in the West has heard ad nauseum over the past week, the US, with the assistance of covert CIA operations, captured and killed Osama Bin Laden in Abbottabad, Pakistan. AT A MANSION. Here was GWB, looking for Osama in cave for his entire term. Then again, it would seem logical. Why would Osama, a multibillionaire by birth, be sitting an a fucking cave waiting to be captured. Ok, so his mansion didn't have internet or anything, but he obviously wasn't exactly living the life that CNN and Fox News painted him as having. The fact that Pakistan, a long-time ally against the War on Terror, was clearly either knowingly or unwillingly harboring the most wanted man in the world, had to be a source of anxiety and frustration. While Americans were celebrating in the streets, the more rational of us were left wondering something: whatever happened to the central tenet of criminal law and freedom, the tradition that the West prides itself on, habeas corpus?
Ok, this shouldn't be read as an indictment of Bin Laden's death, or a defense of his deplorable way of life. Instead, this is a call to reason, a call to return to the very values that North American society was built upon.
First, definitions. Habeas Corpus is defined as the right of the individual being arrested from arbitrary state action. In laymen's terms, you can't just grab someone without a warrant and hold them. It doesn't necessarily protect someone from not having a trial, but it's considered as the basis for most major legal systems.
Secondly, the US framed the assassination (boohoo sensitive people, that's what it was) as being a part of national self-defence.
Thirdly, most legal experts have concurred that until we know more about what transpired that day, we can look at this as extrajudicial, and without due process.


So what do we know so far?
Bin Laden was unarmed at his compound, and shot to death. No real evidence of struggle, a covert SEALS operation. Despite the fact that Bin Laden was a despicable human being, why did he not receive a trial? Why was he unarmed when shot to death, though the US characterizes him as an "armed enemy, a part of a resistance" and therefore can put to rest the fact that he was unarmed.
Obviously, the most obvious retort here is that the 3000 Americans who died on 9/11 were unarmed as well, but isn't the respect for the law and rights of the individual a fundamental tenet of American politics? Isn't that why there is a Constitution? I get that Bin Laden probably deserved, at least morally, every inch of what he got, but should be not also be extended the basic rights of individuals? I don't mean to be offensive, but it works against the US interests to perpetrate an assassination illegally. This will impact world opinion in a negative light, and the seeds of this will hurt the US image. Combined with Guantanamo, it becomes important to ask whether this assassination is consistent on the very values that the US makes a central part of its foreign policy in the Middle East.


This is obviously a complex issue, and I am not by any means a legal expert. This question has puzzled me, because I feel an emotional pull to not care if this bastard got a trial. But the political scientist in me sees the implications of killing a man in another country's borders and dumping his body in the sea, while with the other hand proclaiming that US-brand democracy, and rights are central to countries in flux in Egypt, Bahrain and Syria.


For interesting reading:

http://english.aljazeera.net/indepth/features/2011/05/201155113345557824.html

For once, this post won't be about some frivolous topic. Actually, to most people, it will seem incredibly frivolous with all of the scary shit going on around the world. But for me, this has potentially been the second worst disappointment. The first, for clarity, is 09/13/06 (if you know you know what events i'm referring to, if not google it). Secondly, I have been incredibly lucky that these are the types of disappointments that can literally destroy every ounce of motivation and self-confidence I have in my own skills, and that I'm aware that it's nothing compared to what the people in Syria, Haiti and various other countries face on a daily basis.

I woke up to a rejection email from my first choice grad program, and let it be known that I have yet to receive an acceptance anywhere. I felt so confident about this writing up these applications, so sure that this is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, and I didn't get it. I'm lost, I'm devastated and I don't even know where to begin to think of something else I can do. I can assure you that there are few other feelings this horrible, when everything you banked your future on disappears without an explanation. I can obviously see why I wasn't probably an ideal candidate, but I thought that maybe my application package would belie something about myself that would stand out to admission commitees. It didn't, and now I'm left wondering what the fuck went wrong.

I've essentially been hiding this for the past few weeks, as everyone around me (not the close friends, but acquaintances/class mates) thinks I've gotten in and that I'm making preps for next year. The only preparation I'm making is trying to find a job that isn't shittastic at the moment. I can't bear the humiliation of telling people that I essentially spent the last 4 years working towards something that will never come. Everyone that does know is telling me that it happens for a reason and that I can always apply to Concordia where i'll most likely get it (seeing as i finished my BA there) for the Winter semester and that it's not the end of the world. I know this, but it doesn't really numb the pain. Maybe I'm being dramatic, maybe it's very much 'first world problems', maybe i'm just an idiot, but it definitely doesn't feel like nothing. I feel like I've let myself down somewhere along the road, and that this is a monumental failure.

I suppose I could apply to Concordia, but that's admitting failure to every single professor that I've ever had. They will see me, and they will know that I didn't get in, and they will wonder if maybe they were wrong about me. I got lucky the past year, and have had professors that have told me they believed in me, and right now it feels like I've let them down as well. I've spent most of today moping around, pretending to read, essentially running through backup plans in my head. I have a job interview at another call center, just cause my current job blows, but I'm hoping I can land this paid internship that I applied to.

I don't know why I needed to let this out here. Usually, i would keep this to myself but I just feel like I've bothered people enough with other stupid relationship problems and I just needed to talk it out to someone. Apparently, my Macbook screen is now someone, but at least I'm pretty sure no one really reads this unless it's about hockey.

I'm hoping tomorrow is another day, but it's looking pretty grey from here.

l.

no one reads this except me, but I had a weird night and I couldn't sleep. I woke up, head spinning, and have a million thoughts running through my head.

1. I need to start doing things for me. And for me alone.

2. I really miss the habs. I watched nash-van last night, and though I absolutely LOVE Kevin Bieksa and Ryan Kesler, I loathe Alex Burrows and Luongo. Nashville is the proto-typical hardworking team that is just hard to beat. Obviously, they lost last night. But take a look at the stats, they had trouble beating Rinne and the Preds looking a little camera shy and only took about 20 shots at LUUUUU. I expect a Preds win for Game 2.

3. My manuscript is going well. I'm planning to do something I never did today. Head to a coffee shop by myself and work on it. I've found that I have this insane fear/anxiety about going places alone, and quite frankly, I'm over everyone in my life. So I'm going to go there and work for a bit and hopefully channel my frustration into writing a few excellent chapters.

4. "You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star" - Nietzsche

Summer is here, school is over, PLAYOFF HOCKEY JUST STARTED!

Sorry for neglecting this blog so much during the year, I actually had to run another one for class, so I didn't really feel like double-blogging very much.

NOW NOW NOW.

My amazing Habs have unfortunately lost all momentum gained from 2 road wins, and are now facing elimination on Tuesday night at the Bell Centre. They can force a game 7 with a win. I BELIEVE.

They've got stellar goaltending from Carey Price, offense from Mike Cammalleri, Andrei Kostitsyn, Brian Gionta, David Desharnais. What are they missing? Spacek to stop playing like shit, more offense from Gomez (WELL HOW STRANGE?), Plekanec (HE IS PLAYING IN A SHUT DOWN ROLE ADMITTEDLY), and we're still waiting for Benoit Pouliot to show up.

But yet, I believe. This team has heart, and it has the experience of last year.

LET'S DO IT.

This is a short post, just to get myself back into the groove of it. Follow me on twitter to get real-time updates @lisa_fiorilli

On a non-hockey note: I'm about 5 pages into writing a manuscript. I started this book about 2 years ago, never finished. I had this weird burst of inspiration this weekend, and I decided I wanted to finish it. It's a coming of age novel, about a young male teenager and his quest to find himself through losing himself.
Also, I'm waiting to hear about grad schools, though I have made the decision to simply reject anything but Ottawa U if i get any offers. If i cant get Ottawa U, i will wait it out and apply to Concordia for the winter semester.


Lis.

I haven't blogged in quite some time, but since the season is high approaching I thought it was the time to put together a series of blogs about the 2010-2011 Canadiens de Montreal.
One of the most speculated on scenarios this off season that didn't revolve around netminders (OHMAHGAWD) is the captaincy. This is a franchise where wearing the venerated C on your breast wasn't just given away to anyone. This is a team that has been captained by some of the greatest hockey players in the history of hockey, let alone in Montreal. The next captain of the Montreal Canadiens takes the torch from Saku Koivu, who was beloved though maligned for a lack of french language ability. Before Captain K, oh, just a few nobodies from the likes of: Bob Gainey, Maurice Richard, Jean Beliveau, Yvon Cournoyer, Henri Richard. See, maybe the captaincy is a little more important than it is for say, the Minnesota Wild who had a system of rotation previously? Personally, can you image a rotating captaincy where the K bros were able to pull on a sweater with the C on it? That's what I thought!
Since Gainey dismantled the team last season with the gracefulness of an elephant stampeding in your living room, there has been speculation on which of the newcomers would demonstrate their captaincy-like qualities on and off the ice. Gionta? Gorges? Cammalleri? Gill? Gomez?

My choice for the next captain: Josh Gorges.

Once upon a time, when Gorges was received in return for Craig Rivet, he was considered a marginal return, nothing special and he wrote the pine and pressbox for a while.
However, he has developed to an excellent defensive defenseman who is willing to dig deep and hit the trenches. He was a leader all season when it was quite difficult for the majority of the defense without the pillar named Andrei Markov. He took slapshots from Mike Green, made throwing himself in front of laser shots from the likes of Crosby, Semin, Ovechkin, Green and Gonchar an art. He was always available in the dressing room for an interview, tough loss or resounding win. He worked with charities, and made appearances at the draft table this summer with Habs management.

Pros: leader on the ice, Martin himself said that Gorges is a leader in the room, rarely misses a game, outspoken.
Cons: can't think of any really, other than we don't really know what goes on in and the room.

So that's my short but sweet case for Gorges as captain. Next post will be a look at the candidate for a breakthrough season!

So like, now that's there's no hockey, i'm sorta lost. Almost forgot that this blog even existed. So i guess this would be a good time to discuss things in my life that aren't blue, red or white.