SOOO some random tidbits:
A. Jay-z and Kanye's album Watch the Throne is absolutely epic. All these haters that think Weezy or Eminem are better than the two GODS OF HIPHOP are idiots. Seriously, an amazing cd. The beats are great, the lyrics are great and they compliment eachother super well. Standouts: N***** in Paris, Gotta Have It, Otis, No Church in the Wild, Murder to Excellence, Why I Love You.
B. Also, the new Red Hot Chili Peppers cd is equally brilliant. It's a little difference since there's no John Frusciante, but otherwise, pretty solid both musically and lyrically. I legit don't remember the last time they had a bad cd so whatever. Standouts: Did I Let You Know, Goodbye Hooray, Ethiopia.
C. Honorable mentions: Death Cab for Cutie, Bon Iver, City and Colour and the Kills.
D. Getting a hair cut on Friday ... not sure what to get! If someone has suggestions, please tell me lol.
E. I am basically all packed except for my computer/printer and clothes. I packed my shoes, my schoolbag, my books, my food, my cleaning shit, my various beauty/hygiene/cosmetic products, changed my phone plan, got grad school clothes, etc.
F. Saw some great friends already. Funny how it always becomes obvious who has time for you and who doesn't, and it's really not always the people you thought it would be. To the people who have taken the time to come see me to say bye, APPRECIATE AND LOVE YOU.
G. Also learned something today, sometimes it's better to be the bigger person, forgive and move on. Things happen for a reason, we just need to let them :)
12 hours ago, I was driving myself sick with worry. How am I gonna pay for grad school? Can I afford a haircut? Can I get a mini fridge right now? And then right after dinner, after my wonderful aunt solved a transportation issue for me, i got an email saying I got placed for a GA position at Ryerson for the fall. Essentially, I would be the GA for Power, Change and Technology if i pass an interview and such. This is so exciting.. It pays well, will give me a chance to experience whether I like teaching, and make sure I'm busy and not too homesick at the beginning. I need to ace this interview and get this job.
Funny how 12 hours ago I was freaking, and now I'm counting my blessings. Obviously, I haven't got it yet, but with some hard work and luck, I should come out of this ok.
12 DAYS.
Funny how 12 hours ago I was freaking, and now I'm counting my blessings. Obviously, I haven't got it yet, but with some hard work and luck, I should come out of this ok.
12 DAYS.
Today, I spent a lot of time at working thinking about stuff. My life, my dreams, my goals, my regrets, my heart, etc. I kinda came to a really peaceful realization halfway through my contemplation. I actually for once am happy. I spent most of the past year agonizing over life decisions, staying in situations that I probably shouldn't have for fear of being alone, regretting things, trying to force things, attempting to make something out of myself that didn't correspond to who I really am.
But funny thing is, when I close the lights, I'm actually happy with the person I've grown to become. This past summer has been a revelation in so many ways. For once, I'm single and content. I appreciate everyone that has come through my life, taught me lessons, both good and bad. Everything happens for a reason, and I've grown so much over the past year. I used to carry the weight of so much regret on my shoulders, and I never really could shake the feeling that I wasn't quite good enough. Good enough for my friends, significant others, my family or anyone.
Things happen, hearts get broken, feelings get hurt but life goes on.. Everyone that I've loved has marked me in some way, and I'm better today for all of those lessons, no matter how painful they seemed at the time. The dead end part time jobs have taught me so much about professionalism, patience and being a responsible adult. School has gone from something I was losing interest in into something I'm ready to throw myself into for the foreseeable future. I'm proud of going to grad school, even though I can't exactly pretend that I was confident in this choice at all. I'm happy that I finally can say that I'm happy to be me, happy to have lived the life I have, and I appreciate every second of it. There will still be drama, an unfortunate consequence of the 21st century I guess, but the drama doesn't define me. My choices define me, my successes, my failures and the attempts. Go hard or go home. At 23, I can finally really say I'm embarking on the first great journey of my life. I'll be living on my own, in a new city with an entirely blank slate. I've cut out most of the people in my life that don't deserve to be there. I don't need attention from people that don't give me any. I've been lucky in the past 6 months to meet people that have really changed how I think about the world, about life, and about myself. Funny how life changes when you start to realize that people like you for you, and people appreciate the thoughts and actions that come from you.
I'm thankful for the woman that I've become over the past few months, the woman who doesn't need someone else to valuate her. The woman who is currently standing on her own two feet and throwing herself face first into the unknown with a smile. The woman who has learned that making mistakes is very much a part of my youth, a part of growing up and has learned to accept that these mistakes have had positive consequences. Lately, i've been making a huge effort to think positively, and for the most part, I've been able to. I have some stress for school stuff, but I'm excited, and I'm so looking forward to the opportunity. Life is short, and you have to live day by day. Sit back, enjoy and just live it out.
I'm proud to know me, and I love to death the people who have been there to help me pick up the pieces and sort things out when the going got rough. Those same people are the ones that know they're still a big part of my life, and I thank my lucky stars that I've been surrounded by these excellent people.
But funny thing is, when I close the lights, I'm actually happy with the person I've grown to become. This past summer has been a revelation in so many ways. For once, I'm single and content. I appreciate everyone that has come through my life, taught me lessons, both good and bad. Everything happens for a reason, and I've grown so much over the past year. I used to carry the weight of so much regret on my shoulders, and I never really could shake the feeling that I wasn't quite good enough. Good enough for my friends, significant others, my family or anyone.
Things happen, hearts get broken, feelings get hurt but life goes on.. Everyone that I've loved has marked me in some way, and I'm better today for all of those lessons, no matter how painful they seemed at the time. The dead end part time jobs have taught me so much about professionalism, patience and being a responsible adult. School has gone from something I was losing interest in into something I'm ready to throw myself into for the foreseeable future. I'm proud of going to grad school, even though I can't exactly pretend that I was confident in this choice at all. I'm happy that I finally can say that I'm happy to be me, happy to have lived the life I have, and I appreciate every second of it. There will still be drama, an unfortunate consequence of the 21st century I guess, but the drama doesn't define me. My choices define me, my successes, my failures and the attempts. Go hard or go home. At 23, I can finally really say I'm embarking on the first great journey of my life. I'll be living on my own, in a new city with an entirely blank slate. I've cut out most of the people in my life that don't deserve to be there. I don't need attention from people that don't give me any. I've been lucky in the past 6 months to meet people that have really changed how I think about the world, about life, and about myself. Funny how life changes when you start to realize that people like you for you, and people appreciate the thoughts and actions that come from you.
I'm thankful for the woman that I've become over the past few months, the woman who doesn't need someone else to valuate her. The woman who is currently standing on her own two feet and throwing herself face first into the unknown with a smile. The woman who has learned that making mistakes is very much a part of my youth, a part of growing up and has learned to accept that these mistakes have had positive consequences. Lately, i've been making a huge effort to think positively, and for the most part, I've been able to. I have some stress for school stuff, but I'm excited, and I'm so looking forward to the opportunity. Life is short, and you have to live day by day. Sit back, enjoy and just live it out.
I'm proud to know me, and I love to death the people who have been there to help me pick up the pieces and sort things out when the going got rough. Those same people are the ones that know they're still a big part of my life, and I thank my lucky stars that I've been surrounded by these excellent people.
Feels so weird. Going to be quitting work soon, starting to organize my life into little lists. What to pack, what to leave in Montreal, so much shit to do and so little time.
Essentially, the big things left are going to the bank to secure a line of credit, and praying to whoever is listening that I need to get that TA job. PLEASE.
I'm officially a Torontonian on September 5th. It's going to be fkn weird. I'm going to have to get used to getting along with no French, no habs shit everywhere, no mommy and daddy to bail me out...
Gonna be weird.
Starting fresh never felt so good though.
Essentially, the big things left are going to the bank to secure a line of credit, and praying to whoever is listening that I need to get that TA job. PLEASE.
I'm officially a Torontonian on September 5th. It's going to be fkn weird. I'm going to have to get used to getting along with no French, no habs shit everywhere, no mommy and daddy to bail me out...
Gonna be weird.
Starting fresh never felt so good though.
Sooo...
I had a list of things that I needed to accomplish over this summer.
Mostly: accept/choose classes at Ryerson, find suitable housing, secure student loan and save some $.
Essentially, i managed to choose my class schedule. I have classes 4x a week, Monday though Thursday, 4 classes. Two of them are electives, Comparative Public Policy and Citizen-Oriented Governance, while the other two are required courses: Research Methods and Policy Making and Challenges.
I applied for a TA/RA job, and am now waiting to hear back for an interview (hoping, fingers crossed).
I got word today that Canada Post finally delivered my package, so my new address as of September 5th will be 620 Spadina Avenue. I will be 15 mins away from school by streetcar, living in the heart of downtown Toronto. I'm right off the University of Toronto campus, and in walking distance to a bunch of cool restos, stores, boutiques and cafes.
FINALLY, now I have to ramp up the money saving, since I've paid off everything on my credit card and have accumulated some savings. The other half is mainly getting a student line of credit which should cover the majority of my spending for the first year, but I won't need it much with a job!
SOOO official departure date is September 5th, I actually start school Sept 12th, and I need the time to get my ID card, get my TTC card, etc.
SOOOO EXCITED NOW.
plus, i'm heading to Myrtle Beach for a week on july25th.
I had a list of things that I needed to accomplish over this summer.
Mostly: accept/choose classes at Ryerson, find suitable housing, secure student loan and save some $.
Essentially, i managed to choose my class schedule. I have classes 4x a week, Monday though Thursday, 4 classes. Two of them are electives, Comparative Public Policy and Citizen-Oriented Governance, while the other two are required courses: Research Methods and Policy Making and Challenges.
I applied for a TA/RA job, and am now waiting to hear back for an interview (hoping, fingers crossed).
I got word today that Canada Post finally delivered my package, so my new address as of September 5th will be 620 Spadina Avenue. I will be 15 mins away from school by streetcar, living in the heart of downtown Toronto. I'm right off the University of Toronto campus, and in walking distance to a bunch of cool restos, stores, boutiques and cafes.
FINALLY, now I have to ramp up the money saving, since I've paid off everything on my credit card and have accumulated some savings. The other half is mainly getting a student line of credit which should cover the majority of my spending for the first year, but I won't need it much with a job!
SOOO official departure date is September 5th, I actually start school Sept 12th, and I need the time to get my ID card, get my TTC card, etc.
SOOOO EXCITED NOW.
plus, i'm heading to Myrtle Beach for a week on july25th.
HOLA!
So, it's July 3rd. That means that I am two months away from living in a brand spanking new city on my own starting my Master's. It's a little surreal, and it's odd to think that I'm going to be putting a deposit on an a residence hall. It's a dormitory style thing, with meals included. One tiny little room with a bed and desk, and it's about a 15 minute streetcar ride from the campus, right in downtown Toronto on Spadina Avenue. I kinda wanted an apartment, but I chose this for the first year since I don't know the city and the commute will force me to know it, and the fact that it includes meal, internet and I don't have a roommate. Maybe for year 2 I will search for a roommate and get an apartment near school. TO is quite expensive though, especially compared to Montreal.
So, I'm moving on September 5th, I have an orientation on the 7th and I start school on the 12th. Between that first week, I have to go to school to both test the commute and get my ID card, get a student discount card for the TTC streetcar/subway pass and kind of figure out what's in the vicinity of school and my apartment.
OH, and I'm hoping to hear back from Ryerson that I've been offered a GA position, which is their equivalent of a Teaching Assistant.
PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE.
So, it's July 3rd. That means that I am two months away from living in a brand spanking new city on my own starting my Master's. It's a little surreal, and it's odd to think that I'm going to be putting a deposit on an a residence hall. It's a dormitory style thing, with meals included. One tiny little room with a bed and desk, and it's about a 15 minute streetcar ride from the campus, right in downtown Toronto on Spadina Avenue. I kinda wanted an apartment, but I chose this for the first year since I don't know the city and the commute will force me to know it, and the fact that it includes meal, internet and I don't have a roommate. Maybe for year 2 I will search for a roommate and get an apartment near school. TO is quite expensive though, especially compared to Montreal.
So, I'm moving on September 5th, I have an orientation on the 7th and I start school on the 12th. Between that first week, I have to go to school to both test the commute and get my ID card, get a student discount card for the TTC streetcar/subway pass and kind of figure out what's in the vicinity of school and my apartment.
OH, and I'm hoping to hear back from Ryerson that I've been offered a GA position, which is their equivalent of a Teaching Assistant.
PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE.
SOOO...now that I am set on Ryerson's MPPA, i find myself doing a crapload of reading trying to figure out what my thesis topic will be. I'm thinking about something along the lines of the construction of the notion of 'citizens' in the context of immigration policy, and the effects of globalization to erode traditional concepts of nationality, citizenship. ANYWHOO, it's a little fuzzy at the moment so I did what any good nerd would do, and bought a ton of books that I've always wanted to read and I'm broadening my theoretical knowledge of various concepts in sociology, political science and gender theory.
Here's the books I've read so far, feel free to comment/leave suggestions/ignore this/mock me, etc etc.
1. Michel Foucault - The History of Sexuality: I thought this was excellent. I had to read excerpts for a course I took in my last semester about Women & Gender in the Middle East, and I hated it then. Upon reading the whole book, I fell in love with Foucault and how he defines the institutional structures in modern society and how they create and uphold certain identities, ideologies and constructs. Definitely up there in my favorite books. His thesis is that on the contrary to popular belief, sexuality was not repressed from the Victorian period onwards, but instead it was regularized and brought out into the open through its medicalization. Through the creation of discourses that emphasize 'proper' sexuality and 'abnormal sexuality', you are not encouraging the repression of sexuality, but creating an entire scheme of discipline and surveillance of sexuality that becomes acceptable. Anyway, its significantly more complex than that, but I thought it was an interesting phenomenon and I'm recently very interested in sexuality studies.
2. Michel Foucault - Power and Knowledge: This is a volume of collected interviews, essays and lectures by Foucault that sums up all of his various writings on prisons, hospitals, sexuality and how these institutions create power through the systematization of knowledge. This blew my mind, and gave me the inkling to buy all of his books.
3. Edward W. Said - Culture and Imperialism: EW Said is my favorite author. He is an absolute genius and I am thoroughly influenced by his work. This book was the first one I ever read, by accident actually, because I had meant to pick up Orientalism and got this instead. This book emphasizes how imperialism was created, sustained and managed through the creation of the canon of English and French cultural works. It's interesting to look at his analysis of Jane Austen, who on surface level I wouldn't necessarily tie into the English imperial dogma, as a cultural product that was an impetus for the colonial project. I like his analysis of culture as an important variable, which I don't think is done enough in political science.
4. Edward W. Said - Orientalism: The book is a classic in Political Science, and for good reason. It explains why we think of the ME in the way Westerners do, and it makes you quite conscious of how it is portrayed in everyday language, media, and culture. The phenomenon of the 'Other' is something that has permeated my recent work, especially my Honours seminar paper on Israel/Palestine, and this was a significant influence on that paper in particular.
5. Asef Bayat - Life as Politics: How Ordinary People Change the Middle East: This was GREAT. I read this for a class, Protest and Authority in the ME, and I picked up the whole book. It was a sociological look at non-movements, instead of the usual revolutions and such. Bayat looks at how ordinary encroachment practices by citizens can amount to collective change, and uses influential examples to draw out how this is used in the contemporary ME because of certain mitigating factors that make collective action riskier.
6. Tarek Osman - Egypt on the Brink: A great book, though slightly dated by the recent Arab Spring, but a great analysis of the factors of change present in contemporary Egypt.
and finally, a book that I am reading now that I absolutely am enjoying thoroughly:
Etienne Balibar - We, The People of Europe? Reflections on Transnational Citizenship: I'm about 100 pages in, and this is a pretty excellent treatise on what the meaning of citizenship has become in the context of a transnational 'European' identity created by the emergence of the EU.
SOOOOO, as you all can tell, I have quite the interest with the Middle East, sociology and Political Science. I hope to eventually move on to a PhD, as I am interested in research and possibly teaching. Though Ryerson is known for its career focused programs, I like the research interests of its faculty, and it's also very similar reputation wise to Concordia. I'm hoping I get the skills to both emerge as a prime PhD candidate, as well as be able to integrate into the workforce if i change my mind about the PhD.
I want to take a moment to thank a certain professor, even though she obviously isn't reading this, for her influence on me academically. There was a time, maybe a year or two ago, that I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue with school. I was coasting through, not really interested in anything, and I was sort of middling through with average grades which really complicated my grad school search in the last few months. On a whim, I took a class on ME politics again, remembering how I had loved an earlier one with a different prof, and through office hour discussions and email discussions, was able to rekindle the love of school that I had when I entered Concordia. I actually for once had a prof that I, as a quiet and shy student who generally has a hi/bye relationship with most profs, could actually connect with. I got the encouragement I needed at that particular moment, and I ended up writing 2 of my best papers for both classes that I took with said prof. This prof has helped me with grad school in innumerable ways, and recently I was able to give a sincere thanks for everything. I know for a fact her influence will remain with me academically for a long time, and I am very happy to be able to remain in touch and discuss my future plans, etc. It's funny how much things can change when you finally get someone who really believes in your potential.
Here's the books I've read so far, feel free to comment/leave suggestions/ignore this/mock me, etc etc.
1. Michel Foucault - The History of Sexuality: I thought this was excellent. I had to read excerpts for a course I took in my last semester about Women & Gender in the Middle East, and I hated it then. Upon reading the whole book, I fell in love with Foucault and how he defines the institutional structures in modern society and how they create and uphold certain identities, ideologies and constructs. Definitely up there in my favorite books. His thesis is that on the contrary to popular belief, sexuality was not repressed from the Victorian period onwards, but instead it was regularized and brought out into the open through its medicalization. Through the creation of discourses that emphasize 'proper' sexuality and 'abnormal sexuality', you are not encouraging the repression of sexuality, but creating an entire scheme of discipline and surveillance of sexuality that becomes acceptable. Anyway, its significantly more complex than that, but I thought it was an interesting phenomenon and I'm recently very interested in sexuality studies.
2. Michel Foucault - Power and Knowledge: This is a volume of collected interviews, essays and lectures by Foucault that sums up all of his various writings on prisons, hospitals, sexuality and how these institutions create power through the systematization of knowledge. This blew my mind, and gave me the inkling to buy all of his books.
3. Edward W. Said - Culture and Imperialism: EW Said is my favorite author. He is an absolute genius and I am thoroughly influenced by his work. This book was the first one I ever read, by accident actually, because I had meant to pick up Orientalism and got this instead. This book emphasizes how imperialism was created, sustained and managed through the creation of the canon of English and French cultural works. It's interesting to look at his analysis of Jane Austen, who on surface level I wouldn't necessarily tie into the English imperial dogma, as a cultural product that was an impetus for the colonial project. I like his analysis of culture as an important variable, which I don't think is done enough in political science.
4. Edward W. Said - Orientalism: The book is a classic in Political Science, and for good reason. It explains why we think of the ME in the way Westerners do, and it makes you quite conscious of how it is portrayed in everyday language, media, and culture. The phenomenon of the 'Other' is something that has permeated my recent work, especially my Honours seminar paper on Israel/Palestine, and this was a significant influence on that paper in particular.
5. Asef Bayat - Life as Politics: How Ordinary People Change the Middle East: This was GREAT. I read this for a class, Protest and Authority in the ME, and I picked up the whole book. It was a sociological look at non-movements, instead of the usual revolutions and such. Bayat looks at how ordinary encroachment practices by citizens can amount to collective change, and uses influential examples to draw out how this is used in the contemporary ME because of certain mitigating factors that make collective action riskier.
6. Tarek Osman - Egypt on the Brink: A great book, though slightly dated by the recent Arab Spring, but a great analysis of the factors of change present in contemporary Egypt.
and finally, a book that I am reading now that I absolutely am enjoying thoroughly:
Etienne Balibar - We, The People of Europe? Reflections on Transnational Citizenship: I'm about 100 pages in, and this is a pretty excellent treatise on what the meaning of citizenship has become in the context of a transnational 'European' identity created by the emergence of the EU.
SOOOOO, as you all can tell, I have quite the interest with the Middle East, sociology and Political Science. I hope to eventually move on to a PhD, as I am interested in research and possibly teaching. Though Ryerson is known for its career focused programs, I like the research interests of its faculty, and it's also very similar reputation wise to Concordia. I'm hoping I get the skills to both emerge as a prime PhD candidate, as well as be able to integrate into the workforce if i change my mind about the PhD.
I want to take a moment to thank a certain professor, even though she obviously isn't reading this, for her influence on me academically. There was a time, maybe a year or two ago, that I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue with school. I was coasting through, not really interested in anything, and I was sort of middling through with average grades which really complicated my grad school search in the last few months. On a whim, I took a class on ME politics again, remembering how I had loved an earlier one with a different prof, and through office hour discussions and email discussions, was able to rekindle the love of school that I had when I entered Concordia. I actually for once had a prof that I, as a quiet and shy student who generally has a hi/bye relationship with most profs, could actually connect with. I got the encouragement I needed at that particular moment, and I ended up writing 2 of my best papers for both classes that I took with said prof. This prof has helped me with grad school in innumerable ways, and recently I was able to give a sincere thanks for everything. I know for a fact her influence will remain with me academically for a long time, and I am very happy to be able to remain in touch and discuss my future plans, etc. It's funny how much things can change when you finally get someone who really believes in your potential.
